Today’s Thursday’s thirteen is a list of “Never” quotes:

1. Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn’t want your mother to hear at your trial. – Sydney Biddle Barrows, the “Mayflower Madam”

2. Never say “Oops” in the operating room. – Dr. Leo Troy

3. Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words “large” or “size” with “rear end”. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me. -Tim Allen

4. Never kick a fresh cow dropping on a hot day. – Harry S. Truman

5. Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It annoys them very much. – G.K.Chesterton

6. Never use while sleeping. – Instruction on Conair hair dryer

7. Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There’s no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, “Look, it’s always gonna be me!” – Rita Rudner

8. Never murder a man when he’s busy committing suicide. – Woodrow Wilson

9. Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. – Winston Churchill

10. Never stand between a dog and the hydrant. – John Peers

11. Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. – Geraldo Rivera

12. Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts. – Ruth Gordon

13. Never pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel. – American adage about antagonizing newspaper editors.